Cult Ure Sho Ck

Culture shock is a funny thing. It takes on many forms. So far my symptoms include mild annoyance, awe, wonder, bouts of anger and helplessness. For 4 weeks now I have been vacillating between totally elation, complete despair and everything in between.
Its a weird thing to come to a country where you don't know the language. By yourself. For no real defined purpose. Yep. I did this. I chose it. This I know. And perhaps the strangest thing is that I still know its the right decision. As uncomfortable as I am. As awkward as I feel almost every minute of almost everyday so far. Berlin called me here. Sounds crazy. Sounds sentimental. Sounds impossible. But its true. And while I meet new wonderful people here daily, I feel very alone. And while I see miracles everywhere, I still question what this is all about. When the glamor fades I am left to deal with myself. I don't wish to complain. It may seem that way. But I am trying to own this. To walk in it. To draw strength from it. But I would be lying if I said it always made sense.

But I have to believe it will subside. The longing to be someplace familiar. The feeling of isolation. Because in reality I am not alone. And the facts are these: I was called here for a purpose. My home is wherever I am. As long as I stay with myself, I will be just fine. But I am trying to get these very evolved thoughts into my spirit. Into my body so that I can believe.