Happy Slide

2010 started off with a bang.

After a long trip back from Goa by way of Mumbai, by way of London, I finally reached Berlin: my sweet, dynamic, frozen home. And as soon as I did, I saw that the streets were still alive with that magical holiday feeling. Christmas markets still lined them with twinkling lights in the snow. "Guten Rutsch" was been said to me everywhere I went. A common wish for the start of a new year it is literally translated: Happy Slide.

On New Years Eve, Marion introduced me to some new german traditions. We drank Bowle, a cherry juice-champagne cocktail complete with vodka soaked fruits. We watched Dinner for One, an 18 minute TV program that airs every year on Dec 31st. A traditional pastime in homes all over Deutchland, ironically, it was in english.

We then proceeded to melt various metal objects by candlight. Yes, I said melt. Also a German tradition called Bleigiessen. After melting tiny figures on a spoon we were instructed to rapidly throw the melted ore into a pot of cold water. By deciphering the shape that emerged, we were supposed to be able to predict what the coming year might bring. I did this 3 times and consitantly got something that resembled a fish. For some lame reason the book just said I should take a bath this year. I was happy to insert my own interpretation that this year was going to go swimmingly.


I made appetizers and Marc made dinner.

The third and final new tradition came by way of table fireworks. I again felt an impulse of childish fear. I could literally hear my mother saying how unsafe it all was. Its funny to be a grown up and still hear that stuff in your head. First the melting, now the exploding! But this part would have to come later, as the actual night of New Years, Marion had forgotten the pyrotechnics at home.

But the explosions came in a way I didnt expect, promptly at the stroke of twelve and beyond. Fireworks EVERYWHERE. All over the place. The city of Berlin was aglow...

I have been to good New Years Eve parties. But the obvious exhuberance all around me was actually a thing of wonder. People were yelling and singing, laughing and cheering, well past midnight. But somehow it seemed to contain more enthusiasm than I had ever heard on this night of the year. And I had the thought that maybe being a worn torn city, maybe the bitter winter weather, or maybe just a sense that life is not necessarily guaranteed might make the start of a new year more meaningful somehow. I couldnt quite put my finger on it, but it was definitely different. Full. Loud. Genuine. My first Berlin New Year.

And I found myself saying out into the night "Frohes Neues!" Happy New Year!

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Res(V)olution

What happens when you actually get what you ask for?

This year I took my New Year’s resolution seriously.

In the past my promises have always included the usual suspects: getting a better job, recycling more often, losing that preverbal 10 lbs. But two years ago I stopped.

Instead of making a resolution, I made a wish.

In 2008 my wish was to do something every month that scared me. Last year I wished to experience the world as a child. And this way of asking for something from my year instead of demanding something from myself has brought real freedom. And with freedom comes power. In some ways it has changed everything.



I think the trick with these was their lack of borders. Its like saying you are going to exercise 3 times per week instead of loose 10 lbs. It’s a small distinction but one is open for interpretation and the other is very measurable. We are taught to make goals measurable so we can see if we have achieved them. But what if instead of making them achievable we endeavored to make goals absorbable, by our hearts, our souls- by that part that makes us uniquely us? Isn’t that the part of us that has the power to really make things happen anyway? The part that really needs some inspiration and encouragement?What if instead of giving our heads more food for thought we gave our hearts more fuel for action? I don’t know about you but my soul just loves a good metaphor…

So this year I have to admit, I was a bit scared. The ability to actually speak things into being is an interesting power to get in touch with. (No self-help books can prepare you for that kind of reckoning.) And for me, it has really made me think twice before I ask for something. I question not only my motives but also my true desires. Like having your very own genie filled lamp... might make you wonder what you really want. But in the end it came to me as surely and as simply as the others.

This year I wish to spend/enjoy time in my own skin.


Honestly, I don’t even know what that means. But I am sure looking forward to see is what it brings...

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Snow Globe

In order to exchange anything there has to be a certain level of agreement. The "rules" have to be in place. In business, in education, in love.

And once the ground rules are set, they can change. They usually do. And thats part of the game, part of being human: the ability to re-define your world when necessary. Its not that you have to pretend its ok. Quite the contrary, its your job to know when its not. And then to re-negotiate, with the concept, with the person, with yourself. Its your job to discover, cause and allow - change.

In work you establish productivity for pay. In communication you establish what words mean. Words like Love. Hate. Never. Always.

Most of my life I have been a "pleaser". Constantly concerned with everyone else's perception of me. Of my actions and most of all, my intentions. I have spent so much time making decisions, big ones and small ones, based on how others might think, feel or react.

But right now, Im endeavoring to redefine myself.

Im turning myself inside out to see what's there. And walking around with my guts hanging out is pretty gory. Its not safe. Its not pretty. To be honest, Im not very proud of what I see... but I am learning to be.

I mean, what good is a snow globe that has never been shook?

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