Talk Walking

>> Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Lately Ive been talking a lot about being the moment. Ive been talking about how your life is all a matter of perception and how if you look at things in a way that is beneficial, you cant fail. I said to a friend the other day that one of my main goals is to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. This year has taught me that it is the nature of things to change. It has also taught me that control comes and goes making it a fleeting sort of illusion. So the premise of this exploration and acceptance is that if Im ok with discomfort then nothing can stop me.

On more than one occasion this month I heard myself saying that life doesnt always give you what you want but it does give you what you need. The people, the lessons, the situations. Pretty much, every time.

But what about when they fall apart? What about when the plan unravels? Where is that cool calm collected go-with-the-flow-ness then? What happens when after a lovely 5 week visit in America, I pack up all of my things and get ready to fly back home to Berlin only to find out not only that my flight is cancelled but that they cannot re-book me for an entire week....

What happens when life happens?

I get to meet myself. I get to stop talking and start walking. I get to have a different week than I planned. I get to see different people and have different conversations. But most of all, I get to practice what I preach.

Plainly put, if I don't find the fun in this and be in my moment, then I am living a lie... so here goes.

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The Truth About Lonely

>> Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I couldnt say it better myself...


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Thanking the Turkey

>> Saturday, November 27, 2010


During this trip so far I have been going through a lot. I've been paying close attention to the way I feel and react with familiar people in familiar situations. I have been trying to notice what is going on in my head, in my heart and in my body. I have learned a ton about myself during this year in Berlin and before I flew to LA this time, I was worried about how I would be. Could I keep up the self observation? Could I stave off  the massive self judgement? In moments in which I have, for years, acted on auto-pilot, would I be able to stay with myself?

There have been an incredible amount of feelings, connections and sensations while I’ve been here so far. But the best part is my overwhelming sensation: gratitude. Gratitude for the fact that the sun is shining. Gratitude for the fact that there is so much food in the fridge. Gratitude for the laughter in the living room. Gratitude that my mom still calls me when its late and she wonders if I'm coming home. Gratitude for how fast my friends' children are growing. Gratitude for friends who offer up their gorgeous houses to sleep in and to cook thanksgiving dinner in. Gratitude for the 11 kinds of pie in the kitchen. Gratitude for time to drink coffee and hear my friends’ stories. Gratitude for the fact that I can hug my mom as long and as often as I want. Gratitude that it’s impossible to see all the people I love while I'm here. Gratitude for messages from friends about the first snow in Berlin. Gratitude for new socks. Gratitude for random text messages, just because we can. Gratitude that Emerson and Averie remembered me and weren’t at all scared by my bald head.

My heart is full. And so is my life. Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving!

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