Beautiful Chaos

Im really enjoying the weather here. My first July in Berlin vacillates between sweltering heat, pouring rain and breezy chill in what feels like the blink of an eye. I told my friend Marion that I'm magic here and that sometimes I control the weather. So today, in the middle of a sunny afternoon, when the rain started to pour just about the time she wanted to go to lunch, she called to see if I was in a bad mood.

But Im not. And thats not what the rain is for. There are other things at play. Sometimes a break in the norm is needed to jolt your senses. Maybe a conversation needed to be derailed out there. Maybe without the rain that flower wasnt going to live through the heat of the day. Maybe something dirty needed washed away...

And rain comes and goes so quickly here so I never fear it. There will be more shine or showers, whichever is needed most, soon. That is simply the way it works. Finding peace within that truth, thats my job. So today, I am celebrating turbulent weather of all kinds because it keeps life interesting. And its the ability to notice it that makes us strong. What's your weather like today?

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Passing the Flame

Berlin has sent a lot of angels on this wild ride. One in particular, has been very instrumental so far in many facets of my adjustment here. And slowly but surely I am coming to a point where very soon it seems that my internal assuredness that I am "supposed" to be here may be equally matched by external circumstances that justify this belief.

The other day I had a real moment of gratitude in which I simply asked how it would be possible to repay this friend for all they have done to help me. He simply replied, "Pass it on."

And so this blog is not just a reporting of great things but a promise to someone in the future. This difficult adjustment period will soon be a thing of the past and I know I will be set up here in a new life that I love. And when that time comes, I too will be in a position to help someone else. And believe it or not its that thought, the second even more than the first, that spurs me on.

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Hot Water

I dont know if I have shared this before but I do some of my best thinking in hot water. Literally and perhaps figuratively as well. And although I have a true desire to be rugged, a camper, a tomboy, I need- actually NEED a hot bath every few days or my heart and body become overun by stress that my brain creates. Strange, but tested and true. So when I asked Berlin for the perfect place, a bathtub was undeniably at the top of my list. That and internet service in a safe neighborhood for 300 euros inclusive per month were my wish. And I got it all. I just forgot to ask for hot water...

Sometimes you have to build a fire. Literally and perhaps figuratively as well. Apparently there are still apartments in the world that dont have continuous hot water throughout the day, not enough to draw a hot bath anyway. I live in one of those. Ive been told by my friends here that this is NOT common. Assured this is not a normal state of being. Not in Berlin. Not in Germany. But its the way my old fashioned apartment is set up. And my other two roommates are cool with it. So I built a fire. And after feeding it for a second time, I was finally able to get enough hot water for an entire bath. And maybe because Im tired, or maybe because I felt like I earned it... it was a wonderful soak indeed!

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